Chichester Cathedral - somewhat phallic. Picture by Ian Britton, Freefoto.comThe “man in the street” could be banished in Britain, which invented the term as meaning “the average person”. A report by 21st Century androids employed by Chichester District Council in the UK claims that this popular description is based on an assumption that the world [...]
Maraenui, before and after the tremor. Picture by 31vickDetailed reports are only now trickling in about the 5.9 Richter Scale quake that hit in the late hours of last Monday beneath the village of Maraenui in Napier. Initial news of the disaster was swiftly transmitted by the hamlet’s 35,000 unchipped and unregistered Staffordshire-Terrier cross-mutts, and [...]
Anyone likely to be outraged or offended by Auckland’s boring old Boobs on Bikes parade will have no chance of bringing a case against organiser Steve Crow. The event received so much pre-publicity that those of a sensitive nature were reasonably forewarned to keep away.
Forget the Chewing Gum Budget and the Hard Cheese Budget. It’s a waste of time wondering why – when the country was doing well – Michael Cullen found it impossible to cut income taxes, or why – when we’re doing very badly – he dips deep into his bottomless hat and produces one expensive half [...]
Here’s an off-the-wall idea for builders and sheep farmers facing financial ruin.
Become an Artist instead. Under new Labour legislation, you could be set up for life.
It works like this:
If you’re a builder, take a pile of 4 by 2 offcuts, arrange them neatly on the floor, and call your creation “A Picture In Planks Of [...]
Arbuckles is exploiting the case of a prisoner who climbed out of jail using knotted sheets. Good luck to them and the advertising agency who used the escape to promote the rock-bottom bargains you can get in Arbuckles’ latest bed linen sale.
On the one hand, you could take it as a bright idea to make [...]
In New Zealand, there is a grandly named body called the Advertising Standards Authority. New Zealand is fond of creating grandly named but impotent bodies to investigate serious problems, either real or imagined (but usually imagined).
Their highly rewarded members then spend vast amounts of public funds on the final report, but usually achieve little [...]
We grumpies like to mockingly describe Fiji’s ignorant and unelected soldier dictator and self-appointed Information Minister as Frank Bananarama. He runs a Banana Republic inhabited by intelligent people who know that democracy and communication skills are not taught at even the best military colleges and that freedom is not, for the time being, allowed to [...]
More than $4 million of our money has been allocated by the Tertiary Education Commission to fund elitist “doctorate” researchers. This will, of course, thrill all dimwitted taxpayers who pay for it, as they look forward to the Government’s ultimate cure for cancer, inflation and all the other afflictions that blight mankind, along with the [...]
A North Island man is facing probably the first charge of driving a lawn-mower while drunk.
The community-spirited driver had mounted his mower and taken a slow drive to the local pub for entertainment and conversation. Police spotted him returning home, cutting a wobbly swathe on the way.
Transport Minister Harry Duynhoven was quick to condemn the [...]
