Come here, big boy and get the chopReal Kiwi blokes don’t do proper haircuts. The rate of inflation at the hairdresser since 2003 has dramatically outstripped the rest of the cost of living - and men have responded in a simple, commonsense way. Instead of getting a trim every four weeks, they put it off [...]
Chichester Cathedral - somewhat phallic. Picture by Ian Britton, Freefoto.comThe “man in the street” could be banished in Britain, which invented the term as meaning “the average person”. A report by 21st Century androids employed by Chichester District Council in the UK claims that this popular description is based on an assumption that the world [...]
Maraenui, before and after the tremor. Picture by 31vickDetailed reports are only now trickling in about the 5.9 Richter Scale quake that hit in the late hours of last Monday beneath the village of Maraenui in Napier. Initial news of the disaster was swiftly transmitted by the hamlet’s 35,000 unchipped and unregistered Staffordshire-Terrier cross-mutts, and [...]
Anyone likely to be outraged or offended by Auckland’s boring old Boobs on Bikes parade will have no chance of bringing a case against organiser Steve Crow. The event received so much pre-publicity that those of a sensitive nature were reasonably forewarned to keep away.
Ten thousand automatons, more thousands of fireworks, and billions glued to their screens at ungodly hours of the night. What is there to show for for the counterfeit Beijing Olympics?
Jesse Owens, 1936 Olympics champion. Black man beats a white supremacist systemA vast undemocratic nation, covered in smog and fumes, countless millions of viewers concentrating on [...]
Middle class people aren’t inclined to invade your home, beat you up or steal your television. Middle class people aren’t inclined to cover themselves in tattoos, call it moko and (in the manner of the grotesquely unfit warrior Te Weeti) walk about looking like a frightening savage sticking one or two fingers up at you, [...]
Maori… in an uphill struggle against an alien majority languageIn honour of Maori Language Week, we are once again being exhorted to “pronounce Maori names properly”, the point once again being missed that this would be a perfectly fine requirement if we were all speaking Maori at the time; but in an English context, foreign [...]
A sick, 61-year-old former missionary is brutally beaten for no apparent reason at a bus stop in a “safe” area of Auckland, and slowly dies.
An old farmer in a remote part of Hawke’s Bay is shot dead at dawn by a killer with a high-powered rifle. There is only one escape route for the [...]
Here’s an off-the-wall idea for builders and sheep farmers facing financial ruin.
Become an Artist instead. Under new Labour legislation, you could be set up for life.
It works like this:
If you’re a builder, take a pile of 4 by 2 offcuts, arrange them neatly on the floor, and call your creation “A Picture In Planks Of [...]
