Folks, we have a problem. There are far too many law-abiding people in this country.

But in Wellington, there’s also someone who insists on riding his bicycle without wearing a helmet. He’s continually being pulled up by the cops and told to walk his bike on the pavement. A few weeks ago, he complained in the DominionPost that the police had drawn up alongside him, and instead of having a pleasant warning chat, they’d made all sorts of gestures from the safety of their car. And they didn’t even have the decency to wind down the window and talk to him.

His complaining letter was followed by another highly abusive epistle, from someone who really should get out on his bike more often. The author said that our errant cyclist should simply obey the law – like everyone else.

Like everyone else who has been paying over the odds for years for their electricity, perhaps? Power companies have been rorting us and we’ve overpaid to the tune of $4 billion. But the Commerce Commission says they were not acting illegally. So that’s OK, because it’s within the law, is it? (Politicians, who see the income from power companies as little more than a secret tax, would no doubt agree.)

Like gun-owners who studied the laws, passed the tests and paid for the privilege to own a weapon and now find themselves in the firing line following the mad Napier siege? Half-witted reactionaries now want to force honest people to register all their arms – ignoring the plain fact that criminals don’t obey the rules and the only victims of more bad law will be honest people.

In democratic Iraq, they do this to naughty people. It is perfectly legal
In democratic Iraq, they do this to naughty people. It is perfectly legal
In the UK, democracy faces meltdown, because members of the best club in the world – Parliament – have been caught with their hands in the till and their snouts buried firmly in the trough. The extent of their legal theft is beyond belief. Yet our own Bryan Gould, former member of the UK Parliamentary Club as a Labour shadow minister, former Waikato University vice-chancellor and now apparently reduced to being a humble columnist for The Guardian, says that this was all the fault of the arch-Tory, Margaret Thatcher. Gould was a member of a Labour Party that took over from the Iron Lady, inherited her expenses policy and turned a blind eye to it. He says that removing money from the public, within the rules, is understandable and even forgiveable, because MPs don’t get paid enough.

The official explanation for all this State-sanctioned robbery is that nobody broke the law. But nobody in Britain (outside Parliament) is fooled, because they know who makes the laws and who finds ways around them.

The fact is: Why should anyone, anywhere, obey laws laid down by idiots?

For example: It is a criminal offence to die within the British Houses of Parliament. God only knows why, because most Britons would be better off if they were relieved of the burden of MPs. No one has yet been convicted of this offence, and those who die within the precincts must have it stated on their death certificate: “Expired on the way to a hospital”. This insane law was passed by people who were democratically elected mostly by the lazy and stupid.

Anything can be a hanging offence. It all depends on who's running the show
Anything can be a hanging offence. It all depends on who's running the show
Why wear a crash helmet when riding a bicycle, just because a group of powerful twits made it mandatory? There is no evidence, anywhere, to support the PC view that it saves lives. Rational people know that a flimsy, ugly piece of plastic will not protect you from death by a car or a 40-tonne truck. They know the devastating effect that law had on the promotion of cycling, and they remember how political wallies destroyed the port and sherry business in New Zealand by placing punitive duties on old folks’ tipples, on the pretext that such substances were being abused by youngsters (who were actually sniffing aerosol cans). But now it’s the law and we must obey.

Why should you remain in house arrest for 13 years? Because you’re Aung San Suu Kyi, and you live in Myanmar, and it’s the law. Why am I going to be executed? Because you live in Texas or Pakistan or China, and it’s the law. Why have I been convicted of assaulting my child? Because you fell foul of Sue Bradford’s Law that only came into force because Helen Clark needed a majority in Parliament. Why have I lost all my money? Because you invested in New Zealand, which is an uncontrolled casino. It was all perfectly legal.

The Burmese... law-abiding people hung up by the lawless
The Burmese... law-abiding people hung up by the lawless
Corporate or political robbers may claim that their theft or damage to other people was within or beyond the law, but today, millions are starving because they – like the rest of us – must pay the penalty for a small group of greedy people who invented unsustainable financial schemes that were “within the law”.

Now, our own government is introducing new laws that would crush perfectly good cars – instead of giving them to honest but poor people – simply because they have been driven by boy racers. And we’re going to ban cars “cruising” city streets, whatever that’s supposed to mean. And there will be a $50 levy on anyone convicted – and we know that it will be paid only by otherwise law-abiding people. In the meantime, a senior architect of this chaos (Sir Geoffrey Palmer) relaxes after a lifetime mostly spent buggering up our legal system, as he laments the poor state of the law and sheds many a crocodile tear. It should also come as no surprise that our legal profession remains steadfastly silent about this new legislation. After all, lawyers stand to make a fortune from the confusion that will ensue.

However, there comes a time when the people who elected the people who make bad legislation say: “Enough is enough”. And unless those who are supposed to properly govern society start to make wiser decisions, the people will begin to ignore the law, they will lose faith in the system, and they will set about destroying their own society by either disobeying the rules or taking the law into their own hands.