Forget the Chewing Gum Budget and the Hard Cheese Budget. It’s a waste of time wondering why – when the country was doing well – Michael Cullen found it impossible to cut income taxes, or why – when we’re doing very badly – he dips deep into his bottomless hat and produces one expensive half of a rabbit.

The real problem with New Zealand isn’t fiscal drag. It’s image lag. No matter what the Labour-led Government does between now and election day, the fact is that everybody’s thoroughly fed up with the same tired and ancient faces, lecturing us with the same boring and discredited messages. We see through them easily. We want to see something new.

So look instead at Italy.

There, they run a voting system that (believe or not) is even more potty than ours. It has provided them with more than 60 governments since the end of World War 2. A never-ending series of loosely riveted coalitions has made the place ungovernable by anyone other than the Mafia.

Not that the Mafia makes a good fist of it, either. They run the rubbish collection in Naples, which is piled so high with rotting trash that desperate residents are now building bonfires. This leads to clouds of toxins that have poisoned the local cows and put an end to some important cheesemakers.

But all is not lost, because the Italians long ago gave up listening to prattling politicians. Newly re-elected premier Silvio Berlusconi shrewdly realises that people actually prefer style over substance. Just take a look at some members of his new Cabinet:

Now take a look at what Labour has to offer in New Zealand:

In a badly lit Russian milking parlour, that cheesy lot would look drop-dead gorgeous. But you’ll get more commonsense out of the four-legged milkers…