Addressing the Bali conference on climate change, New Zealand’s Trade Minister said:

My friends, in the light of present-day developments, let me say, right away, that I do not regard existing conditions lightly.

On the contrary, I have always regarded them as subjects of the gravest responsibility and shall ever continue to do so.

Indeed, I will even go further and state quite categorically that I am more than sensible of the definitions of the precise issues which are at this very moment concerning us all.

We must build, but we must build surely.

Audience: Hear, hear!

Let me say just this: If any part of what I am saying is challenged, then I am more than ready to meet such a challenge. For I have no doubt whatsoever that whatever I may have said in the past, or what I am saying now, is the exact, literal and absolute truth as to the state of the case.

Hear, hear!

I put it to you that this is not the time for vague promises of better things to come.

For, if I were to convey to you a spirit of false optimism, then I should be neither fair to you nor true to myself.

But does this mean, I hear you cry, that we can no longer look forward to the future that is to come? Certainly not!

Voice from the audience: What about the workers?

“What about the workers?” indeed sir!

Grasp, I beseech you, with both hands the opportunities that are offered. Let us assume a bold front and go forward together. Let us carry the fight against ignorance to the four corners of the Earth, because it is a fight which concerns us all.

And now, finally my friends, in conclusion, let me say just this:

There followed a long silence.

Well, of course, he said nothing of the kind. That party political spoof speech was given almost 50 years ago by the late comedian Peter Sellers, of Goon Show and Pink Panther fame.

But “the reality is” – as policitians are so fond of saying – it’s as true, relevant and content-rich as anything they’ll say in Bali in 2007.