Archive for November, 2007

Free groceries, at your local DHB store!

Topic: Consumer, Health, Society, Your money

Mums leaving Wellington Hospital within six hours of producing could have earned a $100 grocery voucher - until Capital and Coast District Health Board, accused of being off its trolley and trying to bribe patients, went into rapid reverse and scrapped the idea.
It would have brought a whole new meaning to the term “check-out”.
But there’s [...]

Santa’s saboteurs deserve the sack

Topic: Consumer, Humour, Religion, Society

Ancient grumpies can still recall the traumatic day when they discovered the truth about Santa Claus. They will never forget that profound feeling of parental betrayal. For some infants, the shock was so severe that they lost faith in everything, including God, and became life-long atheists.
The children of Levin are the latest victims of similar [...]

Dear Australia…

Topic: Politics

Welcome to the wonderful, whacky world of socialism, South Pacific-style, and greetings from New Zealand, where we’ve been marvelling at our Labour Party’s antics for eight years.
We’re not surprised that your young and lucky country decided to ditch its old and arrogant Prime Minister. John Howard evidently thought he was bombproof, but he was getting [...]

Global warming - a three-point survival guide

Topic: Consumer, Environment, Health, Politics, Society

Climate experts massed in Valencia, Spain, to issue yet more dire warnings about the imminent end of the world. Valencia is a very pleasant city, full of nice shops and excellent restaurants.
Within a couple of weeks, there’ll be another climate crisis summit, this time in Bali, renowned for its tropical climate and fine sandy beaches.
Our [...]

Terror! Shhhhh… we can’t afford to comment

Topic: Law and order, Media, Politics, Society

We wanted to say something about the Dominion Post’s revelation of leaked recordings of alleged terrorists’ cellphone conversations, their silly Boy Scout codenames and their fantasmagorical threats to randomly murder a few Pakeha to battle-harden the others, kill the Prime Minister, assassinate US President George Bush and get away with it, scot-free.
We were keen to [...]

When small isn’t beautiful - it’s sickening

Topic: Consumer, Health, Politics, Society

What we all knew is now official: where you live has a major bearing on the quality of your healthcare.
Two deaths caused by hospital failures have highlighted shortcomings in patient care procedures in Wellington and Christchurch, and now we learn that there are no uniform procedures governing hospital safety throughout our district health boards.
And that’s [...]

To be Frank, James, toffee-nosed headmasters suck

Topic: Education, Society

Back in the 1960s, 16-year-old Frank, an English grammar schoolboy from a poor family living in a council house, worked extra hard on his paper round. He saved enough to buy a Vespa scooter, along with a metallic silver crash helmet.
When Frank proudly turned up at school on his scooter, wearing the flashy protective helmet, [...]

Mega-logo-mania. Looks sexy, costs heaps, does nothing

Topic: Advertising, Consumer, Media, Politics, Society, Your money

Aucklanders are eagerly looking forward to not one but TWO new looks!
Their vain-glorious elected representatives have been busy spending other people’s money to toss out stuffy old logos and replace them with dynamic new ones (naturally, without asking the ratepayers’ permission).
But, as hard-pressed citizens will discover, this comes at a price that is probably not [...]

Beware of the bare-faced share bandits!

Topic: Advertising, Consumer, Society, Your money

Shares in BHP Billiton are one of the safest bets on the planet. And the prospects can only improve, as BHP (the world’s third largest mining company) bids to take over Rio Tinto, the world’s largest miner.
Together, they would form an impregnable gold mine for investors who know that resources are likely to rocket in [...]

Why Labour thinks you are stupid, Part 5

Topic: Politics, Society

Labour would have you believe that New Zealand is at the leading edge of international affairs.
It has proposed a “world-beating” carbon credit regime to reduce global warming that will either work so long as the rest of the planet joins in, or crash and burn (probably along with important parts of our economy) if it [...]